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At times, Jay Spring believes he is “the most exceptional individual alive”. Having received an NPD diagnosis, his grandiose moments frequently escalate into “really delusional”, he admits. You’re riding high and you tell yourself, ‘Everyone’s going to know that I stand above others … I’ll do great things for the world’.”

For Spring, these times of heightened ego are typically followed by a “emotional downturn”, during which he feels deeply emotional and self-conscious about his actions, leaving him particularly vulnerable to criticism from those around him. He came to wonder he might have narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) after researching his symptoms through digital sources – and subsequently diagnosed by a professional. However, he is skeptical he would have accepted the diagnosis without having already reached that conclusion by himself. “If you try to tell somebody that they have this disorder, {they’ll probably deny it|denial is a common response|they’re likely to reject it,” he says – most notably if they experience a sense of being better. They operate in an altered state that they made for themselves. And within that framework, I am superior and {nobody can question me|no one should doubt me|my authority is absolute.”

Defining Narcissistic Personality Disorder

While people have been called narcissists for more than a century, it’s not always clear what is meant by the term. “Everyone calls everybody a narcissist,” says a leading researcher, adding the word is “applied too broadly” – but when it comes to a professional assessment, he suggests many people conceal it, due to widespread prejudice around the condition. A narcissist will tend to have “an exaggerated self-image”, “difficulty understanding others’ feelings”, and “a strategy of using people to seek admiration through behaviors including seeking admiration,” the professor clarifies. Those with NPD may be “highly self-focused”, to the point that {“they’re not able to hold down stable relationships|“their jobs are damaged|“they have a distorted view of reality,” he states.

Emotional connections were never important about anyone really, so relationships weren’t a priority relationships seriously

Gender Differences in Narcissism

Although three-quarters of people identified as having narcissistic personality disorder are males, studies points out this statistic does not mean there are less female narcissism, but that female narcissism is more often presented in the vulnerable narcissism type, which is less commonly diagnosed. Male narcissism tends to be a bit more accepted, as with everything in society,” says a 23-year-old who discusses her dual diagnosis on social media. It is not uncommon, the two disorders co-occur.

First-Hand Experiences

I find it difficult with handling criticism and rejection,” she explains, whenever it’s suggested that the issue lies with me, I tend to switch to defence mode or I become unresponsive.” Although experiencing this behavior – which is known as “ego wounding”, she has been trying to overcome it and listen to guidance from her close relationships, as she aims to avoid falling into the negative conduct of her past. I used to be manipulative to my partners as a teenager,” she admits. With professional help, she has been able to manage her condition better, and she explains she and her partner “have a dynamic where I’ve instructed him, ‘When I speak manipulatively, if I say something manipulative, point it out {right then and there|immediately|in the moment’.”

Her childhood mostly in the care of her father and says she lacked supportive figures in her youth. “I’ve been learning continuously what is acceptable versus unacceptable to say in conflicts because I never had that in my formative years,” she says. Every insult was fair game when my relatives were insulting me during my childhood.”

Root Causes of The Condition

Personality disorders tend to be associated with early life adversity. Heredity is a factor,” notes a mental health specialist. But, when someone shows signs of narcissism, it is often “tied to that individual’s particular early environment”. Those traits were “a coping mechanism in some ways to survive at a very early age”, he states, when they may have been ignored, or only shown love that was based on meeting specific standards. They then “rely on those identical strategies as adults”.

Similar to other of the those diagnosed, one individual thinks his parents “may be narcissists themselves”. The 38-year-old says when he was a child, “everything was all about them and their work and their social life. So it was like, keep your distance.” When their they engaged with him, it came in the form of “significant demands to achieve academic success and life achievements, he says, which made him feel that if he didn’t achieve their goals, he wasn’t “good enough”.

In adulthood, none of his relationships ever worked out. “I’ve never cared about anyone really,” he admits. Therefore, I never treated relationships seriously.” He believed he wasn’t loving someone, until he met his current partner of three years, who is also dealing with a personality disorder, so, like him, has difficulty with emotional regulation. She is “highly empathetic of the stuff that goes on in my head”, he notes – it was actually she who first suspected he might have NPD.

Pursuing Treatment

Subsequent to a consultation to his GP, John was referred to a clinical psychologist for an evaluation and was told his diagnosis. He has been recommended for talking therapy on the public health system (a long period of therapy is the primary approach that has been shown to help NPD patients, experts say), but has been on the treatment delay for a year and a half: The estimate was it is expected around in a few months.”

John has only told a few individuals about his mental health status, because “there’s a big stigma that every person with NPD is harmful”, but, in his own mind, he has accepted it. This understanding allows me to understand myself better, which is positive,” he comments. Each individual have accepted their narcissism and are looking for support for it – leading them to be open to talk about it – which is possibly not the norm of all people with the diagnosis. But the presence of individuals sharing their stories and the rise of online support communities point to {more narcissists|a growing number