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Encountering refusal, notably when it happens repeatedly, is not a great feeling. An editor is saying no, delivering a definite “No.” As a writer, I am familiar with rejection. I began submitting manuscripts 50 years back, upon finishing university. Since then, I have had multiple books turned down, along with nonfiction proposals and numerous essays. During the recent score of years, concentrating on commentary, the refusals have only increased. Regularly, I get a rejection frequently—amounting to more than 100 each year. Cumulatively, rejections throughout my life exceed a thousand. At this point, I could claim a PhD in rejection.

But, does this seem like a woe-is-me rant? Far from it. Because, now, at seven decades plus three, I have come to terms with being turned down.

How Did I Achieve It?

A bit of background: Now, nearly each individual and their relatives has given me a thumbs-down. I’ve never tracked my win-lose ratio—it would be very discouraging.

A case in point: not long ago, an editor rejected 20 articles consecutively before approving one. In 2016, at least 50 book publishers vetoed my memoir proposal before someone accepted it. Later on, 25 representatives passed on a book pitch. A particular editor suggested that I submit articles less often.

The Steps of Rejection

When I was younger, all rejections hurt. It felt like a personal affront. It seemed like my work was being turned down, but myself.

As soon as a piece was rejected, I would begin the “seven stages of rejection”:

• First, shock. What went wrong? Why would editors be overlook my skill?
• Second, denial. Surely it’s the mistake? It has to be an mistake.
• Then, dismissal. What can editors know? Who made you to judge on my labours? They’re foolish and your publication stinks. I deny your no.
• After that, anger at the rejecters, then anger at myself. Why do I put myself through this? Am I a martyr?
• Subsequently, pleading (preferably mixed with false hope). What does it require you to acknowledge me as a once-in-a-generation talent?
• Sixth, sadness. I’m not talented. Worse, I’ll never be accomplished.

So it went over many years.

Excellent Precedents

Naturally, I was in fine fellowship. Stories of writers whose books was originally turned down are plentiful. Herman Melville’s Moby-Dick. The creator of Frankenstein. James Joyce’s Dubliners. Vladimir Nabokov’s Lolita. Joseph Heller’s Catch-22. Almost every writer of repute was originally turned down. Because they managed to persevere, then possibly I could, too. Michael Jordan was not selected for his youth squad. The majority of Presidents over the recent history had previously lost campaigns. Sylvester Stallone says that his Rocky screenplay and attempt to appear were rejected repeatedly. He said rejection as someone blowing a bugle to motivate me and get going, instead of giving up,” he remarked.

Acceptance

Later, when I entered my senior age, I achieved the final phase of rejection. Peace. Now, I more clearly see the various causes why someone says no. For starters, an reviewer may have just published a similar piece, or have something in the pipeline, or be considering something along the same lines for someone else.

Or, less promisingly, my idea is uninteresting. Or maybe the evaluator thinks I am not qualified or reputation to succeed. Or is no longer in the business for the wares I am submitting. Maybe was busy and reviewed my work too quickly to appreciate its value.

Go ahead call it an realization. Everything can be declined, and for any reason, and there is virtually nothing you can do about it. Many rationales for denial are always out of your hands.

Your Responsibility

Some aspects are within it. Honestly, my ideas and work may occasionally be flawed. They may lack relevance and impact, or the point I am trying to express is insufficiently dramatised. Alternatively I’m being obviously derivative. Or something about my grammar, especially semicolons, was annoying.

The point is that, regardless of all my years of exertion and setbacks, I have achieved published in many places. I’ve authored two books—my first when I was middle-aged, the next, a personal story, at 65—and in excess of a thousand pieces. These works have appeared in newspapers major and minor, in regional, worldwide sources. My debut commentary was published decades ago—and I have now contributed to that publication for half a century.

Yet, no major hits, no author events in bookshops, no appearances on talk shows, no speeches, no prizes, no Pulitzers, no Nobel, and no medal. But I can more readily take no at my age, because my, humble achievements have cushioned the stings of my frequent denials. I can choose to be reflective about it all at this point.

Educational Setbacks

Setback can be educational, but when you listen to what it’s attempting to show. Or else, you will almost certainly just keep interpreting no’s incorrectly. What teachings have I gained?

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